"Whaddayamean it's CRAZY?"

"Crazy!" seems to be the the automatic response that proceeds from my mouth lately any time someone asks, "How's it going?" or "How has your furlough been?" or "How are you guys doing?"  Some people take it in stride.  Many respond with an expression of confusion or disbelief.  A few ask, "What do you mean by that?"

After all, isn't furlough supposed to be a time of rest?  Of spending time with people? Of root beer and pizza and hamburgers?  Well, yeah, it is, particularly the last bit. But that doesn't mean it's all fun and fluffy.

Please understand, this is not a complaint.  We are enjoying this time!  It just happens to be (like SO many things in the missionary life) a love-hate relationship.  I hope that this woefully inadequate explanation helps you understand us and your other missionary friends, and to know better how to pray for us.

The best way I can think of to describe "crazy" is this:  you know the way you feel at the end of vacation? No matter how good it was, or how much fun, there is that point near the end when the worn out, stressed, I-just-can't-wait-to-be-home feeling hits you.

We have had that feeling non-stop for about 7 months, now.  Here are some reasons why:

1.  Not a vacation

I know, I know.  I am apparently bumming around for 8 months without a job.  I travel, I meet people for coffee, I hang out.  If you look at my Facebook feed or previous blog posts, it appears that most of my time is spent taking photos of Montana scenery and doing fun things with my kids.  What do I have to complain about, really?

Gratuitous photo of aforementioned Montana scenery (Bridger Mountains, Bozeman)

I admit, I have spent a lot of time doing fun things with my kids.  We have gone fishing, investigated ghost towns, carved pumpkins, walked in the park, visited the library, gone sledding, and wandered aimlessly through the mountains, to name just a few.  The reason that we have done these things (and made a big deal of them!) is that they are not things that we can do in Bolivia.

Even so, we are still at work.

Kaylee carries her responsibilities wherever we go. Naturally, she has all of the same household duties here as in Bolivia.  She continues to homeschool the kids, in spite of the constant upheaval and weird schedules. Her social/hospitality role also remains largely unchanged.

My work, on the other hand, has changed drastically.  Instead of doing ministry at Etnos, I now get to talk about ministry at Etnos.  The majority of the travel that we have done in the past 7 months has been work related -- conferences, meetings, and presentations.  When not travelling, I am preparing for those events and working to get my materials ready for this year's classes at Etnos.  Even much of our social time ends up revolving around our life in Bolivia, as curious friends ask questions.

2. Missionary Marketing

Marketing: that is a missionary's basic job while on furlough.

It sounds rather pathetic, but when you boil it all down, the presentations and meetings that I just described pretty much amount to good advertising.  At least, that is often how we feel.

For better or for worse, the economic model under which we work requires us to seek out people who are willing to invest in our ministry.  We appreciate the personal nature it gives to our financial support, but we hate the self-promotion that is necessary (or expected) to sustain it.  We get tired of talking about ourselves. We feel self-conscious introducing ourselves to people, afraid they will think we're just after a donation.  Even with family and old friends who support us, we sometimes feel as though the $$$ were hanging over our heads.

Missionary Marketing 101

We want our supporters to be well-informed and engaged in what we are doing!  We want them to be able to see a return on their investment!  That requires a lot of writing while on the field (newsletters, blog, etc) and a lot of visits when on furlough. Usually, this is a joyful process of reporting "home," but we get tired of feeling like a couple of narcissists.

2.  Travel Fatigue

I used to enjoy travelling.  I still do, sometimes.  It can be a nice break when it is occasional -- as in, once or twice a year.

On the other hand, we have basically been "on a trip" for six months and counting. Within this trip, we have taken other trips.  In other words, we feel completely unstable, without the comforting structure of a routine.

Add to that the actual stresses of travel.  Long hours in the car.  Another drive thru. How much is this going to cost?  Unpack the car, carry it all up the stairs, sleep, pack up, haul down, leave.  So. Many. Times.

If it were just Kaylee and I, it would be a lot more manageable, but we have three daughters in the backseat.  Three little girls that are completely worn out and don't (and don't care to) understand why we're still on the road and just want to be home.

3.  Home?

Think about the last time you moved.  Was it an enjoyable experience?  Will it remain in your memory as something to cherish and memorialize?  I doubt it.

In our 11 few years of marriage, Kaylee and I have moved 23 times, counting only places we have lived for a month or longer.  An average of more than 2 per year.

TWENTY-THREE!!

Just by going on furlough, we move twice, and internationally to boot.  We pack up and store our Bolivia house, haul a little bit of it with us as we travel, and arrive in a Montana house. We unpack what we have in our storage shed, purchase or borrow whatever is lacking, and live a few months.  Then pack it all up again, haul some of it with us, and go back to unpack the first house.

Moving is one of the most traumatic experiences in a child's life.  We have taught our girls that wherever the 5 of us are, that is home.  That is the best earthly stability we can give them.  Yes, this instability carries the benefit of grounding our hope in an eternal home with Jesus, but that is tough enough for me to hold on to and almost impossible to pass on to my kids.

4.  Hurray for Friends!

Without a doubt, the best part of furlough is being with family and friends. We have been blessed by many opportunities to spend time with people we love.  It is so good to be able to sit with old friends (and new ones) and comment about life without thinking about which grammar structure is best suited to express it. Or wondering how to respond culturally.

We need the encouragement that these relationships provide.  Strange as it may seem, life on the mission field is often very lonely.  We are surrounded by people, yet good relationships that offer a deep give-and-take intimacy are very hard to come by.  So we want to spend as much time as possible with the people we love here.

Unfortunately, this, too, carries its share of stresses and craziness.  We know that we have limited time, so we tend to over-book our social calendar.  We want to spend as much time with people as we can in the time we have, but it seems like there is never enough.  More than once we have had to clear our calendar for the week, simply because our girls were worn out (not to mention Kaylee and I!).

Catching minnows with cousins

5. Protecting our kids

You may have noticed in the previous four points that "The Girls" have been a significant factor in making this furlough crazy.  To be honest, the hardest thing for me has been trying to gauge the needs of my children.  Too many late nights, too many hours in the car, too many new experiences, hellos, goodbyes, etc.

We are eager to show our daughters all of the things we love about life here: partly because it is important to us and partly because they are not Americans, but (to coin a word) AmeroBolivians.  Before this trip, they knew very little about life in the United States, yet this will most likely be their home once they leave ours, at least for a time.  We want them to be prepared for what they are going to experience, and furlough is the only opportunity we get.

But they have limits.  They are still little people that crave stability, sleep, and sanity, none of which are gained by hanging out with people 4+ nights a week or travelling cross-country.  They are tired of transitions and changes.  They are ready to go back to Bolivia.

In fact, I think we are all ready to go back.  We love Montana.  We love so many people here.  We love the freedom we feel.  We love the weather, the mountains, the trees!  This time has been such a blessing to us, in spite of the craziness.  We will be sad to leave, yet we are ready to get back to Etnos, if only for the stability and routine that returning will bring for our family.  And that's a good thing.

A Perfect Christmas

We have been incredibly blessed.

I could let that statement stand as it is, without any qualifiers, but I want to praise God specifically for the joy that we have shared through this Christmas season.

This was our first Christmas in the US since 2010.  We have celebrated each year in Bolivia, of course, with many of our old traditions and a few new ones, but there is something special about being "back home."

The weather is definitely part of that.  After four HOT holiday seasons, we have enjoyed being back in cold country!  God blessed us with plenty of snow for a nice white Christmas

Enjoying the Bozeman Christmas Stroll at 31°F

The girls were afraid that they would hate the cold and not enjoy sledding because of it, but they have adapted just fine.  They are far from timid on the hill, too!

Naturally, the best thing about Christmas in Montana is being surrounded by family and friends.  We have been blessed by several celebrations over the past couple weeks.  We went to church and had Christmas Eve dinner with my (Nathan's) parents, then did our own thing on Christmas morning.

Throughout December, we noticed that the girls were much more focused on what they wanted to give rather than what they might get.  We wanted to encourage that as much as possible, so we changed our tradition a little bit.  Instead of everyone starting with a stack of gifts to open, we piled up what we had to give.  Then we took turns presenting one of our gifts to the intended recipient.  It made the whole experience much more focused on the giver.

Don't forget you can click it for a bigger version of these cuties!

The gift Kaylee and I appreciated the most of all was this nativity that the girls made for us.  They had been working in secret for weeks, locked up together in their classroom, with a continual hunt for more TP tubes as the only hint at what was going on.  Not only did it reflect hearts that are focused on the Truth, but it demonstrated their willingness to work together to create something for us.

The girls' nativity

After opening our gifts and having our traditional breakfast of cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate, we hopped in the Land Cruiser and drove two hours away to visit Kaylee's mom and her husband for a few days. The weather wasn't great, so the drive was exciting -- I was thankful for the Toyota's 4x4. (Click here for the time lapse video)

The girls with Grandma

Our celebrations ended with a day and a half with my whole family.  It was a whirlwind of food, games, sledding, gifts, and more food.

Construction game with both my brothers and two nephews

Now that we're done partying, it is time to change gears and begin our preparations for moving back to Bolivia.  We are 3/4 of the way through our time here, with an exit date in early March.  We have sorting, packing, and cleaning to do, some last-minute meetings, and I am working on preparing my Etnos classes for the new semester.  Please pray for us as we "unsettle" once again!  This time we get to start it with our hearts full. :)

Wanderings

The furlough craziness continues!  At each turn we anticipate slowing down and finding rest, but it just doesn't seem to come.  We have talked about why we feel that way, because we aren't actually that busy and we've come to the conclusion that it has more to do with lack of routine.

We recently returned from a 3-week, 3410-mile journey through 7 states.  It was part business trip, part homeschool education trip, and all adventure.  God blessed us with good weather and no car trouble!

Our first big commitment was a debriefing that our home church sent us to in Colorado.  We drove to Denver a couple days early, where we spent a day with Kaylee's brothers, then visited Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.

The debriefing was 5 days at a mountain retreat center and run by an organization called Mission Training International.  It was a great location, very peaceful.  Just the sort of place that a bunch of frazzled missionaries need! ;)

We spent our time with missionaries from all different organizations, different countries, different ministries, different denominations.  The one thing that tied us all together was the fellowship of being cross-cultural ministers. 

The program is a carefully designed combination of structured sessions and free time.  Subjects that we covered included: transition, stress, sacrifice, and the need for rest, rest, rest.  We shared our experiences and hurts and joys and struggles.  The kids were in their own classes, talking about the same issues, in an age-appropriate way.  

Kaylee and I instigated a couple of bonfire nights that were a great opportunity
to tell stories and get to know each other better

We came away from the week with a new desire to not only survive our ministry, but be a blessing to others so that they will survive theirs.

Following the debriefing, we took a couple days to travel across Kansas to Missouri, stopping at two of Laura Ingalls Wilder's houses along the way.  Kaylee and the girls have been using her books as literature/history/home-ec class as they homeschool and it was a fun way to bring her story to life.

Cabin reproduction on the Little House on the Prairie homestead
in Independence, Kansas

The house where Laura and Almanzo lived out their years
in Mansfield, Missouri

Our main purpose in going to Missouri was to return to the training center where we spent 2.5 years preparing to be cross-cultural missionaries and talk to the new students about the work in Bolivia.  

It was fun to show the girls around the area that was such a big part of our lives and where Anne and Addi were born.  Of course, we enjoyed the beautiful weather and the lake, too.

As we headed home, we took a slight detour to see Mt Rushmore!

Since returning, we have spent time with lots of people and I have had 2 more opportunities to talk about our ministry in Bolivia: at our Bible college and our home church.  We have also made the most of fall in Montana, our favorite season!

Old West Adventures

One of our major goals during our time in Montana is to help Anne, Addison, and Lydia "catch up" in their understanding of what life here is all about.  Part of that understanding is a familiarity with the history that makes this area special.

It helps that Kaylee and I share an interest in 19th century Americana, so it is natural and fun for us, too.  Of course, it also meshes perfectly with Kaylee's "Little House" homeschool plan, so they count as field trips!  Here's a quick look at some of the activities we have done as a family during the last few weeks:

We went to a county fair in Powell, WY, where their cousins were showing their 4-H pigs:

We spent a day wandering through Yellowstone National Park:

They enjoyed riding horseback at Grandma's house:

We explored Bannack, a ghost town that was the site of Montana's first gold rush and first territorial capital:

We toured Alder Gulch, home of the country's richest gold strike, which today has been preserved and recreated as an excellent outdoor living history museum:

 

Back in the States!

We are excited to be writing from Bozeman, Montana!

We arrived about 2 weeks ago and plan to be here for 8 months.  We hope that it will be a time of rest, adventure, and renewing relationships.

Rest
Although we still have ministry responsibilities while we are here, for Kaylee and I it is restful just to be back in our home language and culture.  We need spiritual refreshment that we don't (yet) get in Spanish.

Adventure
The girls were born in the US, but they have lived very little of their lives here.  Anne is really the only one that has solid memories of Montana.  For them, everything is new and crazy.  During our 8 months, we hope to explore and enjoy some of the activities that we can't do in Bolivia (particularly in the winter!).

Renewed Relationships
Of course, the hardest part of living overseas is being so far away from family and friends.  We are excited to see many of you in person, rather than just on the phone or computer.  We have already been overwhelmingly blessed by friends here in Bozeman and look forward to spending much more time with them and many others.

We're off to a good start!  Our first big event was Independence Day, complete with a parade, picnic, and fireworks!  The girls have spent LOTS of time with their cousins in my family.  We've been fishing several times.  Kaylee spent the last 4 days at a retreat for missionary women in Colorado with my sister and sister-in-law.  I have been busy getting us settled in.

Friends met us at the airport!

Learning about Independence Day of their birth country

Fishing adventure in the mountains, while mommy was gone

Addi's first fish of the year (in the rain!)

After 4 days, we were all VERY excited to see Kaylee again!

Our wheels, a '94 Toyota Land Cruiser

Chikungunya

In our house, it has mostly been referred to as the Chicken Goonies.

Funny name, unfunny disease.

Since February we have been hearing about chikungunya, a mosquito-borne arthritic virus that causes fever, rash, and joint pain. (Learn about it here)  It had been spreading in Santa Cruz and we knew several people that had had it.  We were doing what we could to control the mosquitoes in and around our house, but God saw fit that we should experience the darker side of the tropics.

It started Friday, May 15th, late at night.  Kaylee thought she might have food poisoning.  She made it through the night pretty well, but the next morning, she couldn't get out of bed, because it hurt to stand up.  Not exaggerating.

For 5 days, the girls and I took over the household responsibilities and tried to make Kaylee as comfortable as possible.

Then on Wednesday, as I was preparing my lecture for the next day's Church History class, my chest and back started getting stiff and sore.  By nightfall, I had gone from running the household, to being completely useless.  Kaylee made supper and washed the dishes while sitting on a stool, because she still couldn't stand up.

In the morning, I felt as though I had spent the previous day playing pickup football.  My back, chest, and shoulders ached, my feet hurt, and my legs were incredibly stiff.  My head was okay, so (foolishly) I taught my class.  I was fine for the first hour, but the second was less than heavenly.  I returned to the house feeling totally wiped out.  That night, the fever hit.

I spent 3 days in bed with fever.  Saturday, I woke up with the granddaddy of all rashes.  It was so bad that the girls didn't want to hug me when they got up.  Our resident nurse said she has never seen anything like it in her life, most of which has been lived here, dealing with tropical oddities.

I know most of you don't want to, but you can click to enlarge

That night, we couldn't get the fever under control.  I had already maxed-out on Tylenol and Ibuprofen is off limits.  I was shaking uncontrollably (again) and poor Kaylee was already so wiped out that she didn't have the energy to nurse me through the night.

A coworker took me to the ER around 9pm.  I was given an IV with Dioxadol, another fever killer, and waited an hour.  No change.  They gave me another Tylenol (oops) and sent me to a cold shower.  That didn't stop it either.  The nurse couldn't believe it when she took my temperature!  After waiting around for another hour or so, it finally dropped to about 101F and they released me.

Now, 3 weeks later, I can almost walk like a person.  I can hold a cup of coffee, too.  It affects each person differently; for me, the worst has been concentrated in my feet, shoulders, and hands.  The stairs have been the biggest challenge; even yesterday I couldn't walk down them normally, rather one at a time, holding onto the railing for balance.  This afternoon, it still hurts a little, but I can actually walk in a full stride.  Yesterday, I played my bass again in our morning devotional.  Still, you couldn't pay me to play volleyball or soccer today.

Thankfully, through it all, we have managed to keep our spirits up.  We knew what to expect and Kaylee and I shared some good-natured laughs at the way we both hobbled around.  We appreciate the help of coworkers that ran errands for us.

The biggest blessing of all was our girls.  They were incredibly helpful, running little errands for us and doing extra work in the kitchen.  They got along and played quietly so we could rest.  I think they were a little shell-shocked, honestly, to see us so weak.

They did find out that sometimes it is a good thing that Daddy and Mommy can't move much:

They say the symptoms could linger for weeks and months.  Thankfully, Kaylee is mostly pain-free, but my improvement has been very slow.  Please pray that we will be able to get everything done that we need to for our return to the US in two weeks and that we have no trouble traveling!!

Church History

What do you know about your spiritual heritage?  Why do you believe what you do?

These two questions are the foundation for the subject I am teaching the first-year students this semester, the history of the Church from Pentecost to the Reformation (Part 1 of 2).  While it may not seem like a relevant subject for a missionary training program, it is fundamental to a good understanding of our theology and "how we got here."

Discussing the life of Justin Martyr

The fact is that we did not receive the Word of God in a vacuum.  Christ did not preach the Gospel to me personally.  So if I am going to trust it, I should know how it got from Him to me over the course of 2 millennia, through 3 continents, by way of several languages.

What is your concept of the Godhead, for example?  How do Jesus and the Holy Spirit fit into the clearly monotheistic Old Testament Scriptures?  Is Jesus God?  If so, is He the same person as the Father?  Is He different?  How different?  Did Jesus have a beginning, or has He always been?

Can you support your view from Scripture?  Or are you just repeating what you've been told?

This issue is at the core of the subject I am preparing for this week's class: the first council at Nicea in AD 325.

Sabellius and the other modalists had taught that one God has played different parts in the drama of history, expressing Himself in three distinct roles or modes.  Rejecting that view, Arius taught that Jesus had a beginning and was a distinct being, subordinate to the Father.  The majority of the Church was balanced somewhere between the two extremes, holding to some (perhaps) unexamined and (often) unexpressed form of our trinitarian view.

The upsurge of unbiblical heresy provided the catalyst the Church needed to refine and define its beliefs and understanding of Scripture.  It was nothing new in 325:  significant portions of the New Testament were written to combat the heresies of legalistic Judaism, mystical Gnosticism, and other deviations from the Truth.  And the Council of Nicaea was far from the last.  In reality, it was just the first of several councils that continued to debate different aspects of who Jesus was and is.

Constantine and bishops with the Nicene Creed

Reading about the lives of the Church fathers and the things they wrote are an important step in understanding our own theology.  However, we can't simply take their word for it.  We must follow the example of the Bereans in Acts 17 and examine the Scriptures for ourselves.  My desire in this class is to provide the balance and perspective of both, not just imparting knowledge of past events, but challenging each student to reflect on why they believe what they believe and change the way they pass that belief onto others.

Although I love and have always tried to be a student of history, I am definitely not well-read enough on the early Church to teach spontaneously.  This class is more an overview than anything, with only 32 class-hours to cover 1500 years.  Even so, I spend an average of 15 hours studying each week to teach 2 hours of material in class.  The students would be fortunate to absorb one-fifth of what I learn each week!

I'm thankful for good sources:

• Kenneth Scott Latourette's A History of Christianity
• Bruce L Shelley's Church History in Plain Language 
• Wikipedia and Wikipedia (Spanish)
• I spend a LOT of time here and it's great to be able to jump from one language to the other on the same page.  It saves lots of time translating concepts to Spanish.  The downside is that it is so easy to get distracted going down very interesting bunny trails. ;)
• Iglesia Pueblo Nuevo
• I don't know anything about this church in Madrid other than what I have read on their site, but they have a phenomenal section on Church history, including an amazing collection of biographies, all in Spanish.  It is my first resource for homework reading assignments.
• The Christian Classics Ethereal Library
• More resources than I can ever hope to read, including Philip Schaff's preeminent works
• Dave Barnhart
• My friend and Church History prof at Montana Bible College not only gave me a good foundation for CH in his classes, he graciously shared his notes with me.

I am also thankful for Kaylee's faithfulness and patience with me, as this has definitely been our most stressful semester so far.  Especially during our 6-week-long kitchen remodel (Details and photos here), I was under a lot of pressure to complete all of my responsibilities each week.  In preparation for Thursday morning's class, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are pretty solid study and Powerpoint design from dawn to dusk, other than breaks for meals and campus responsibilities.  I can't say that I've handled the strain very well, either, so you might want to pray for Kaylee's continued sanity.  At least her kitchen is in one piece now. ;)