"Whaddayamean it's CRAZY?"

"Crazy!" seems to be the the automatic response that proceeds from my mouth lately any time someone asks, "How's it going?" or "How has your furlough been?" or "How are you guys doing?"  Some people take it in stride.  Many respond with an expression of confusion or disbelief.  A few ask, "What do you mean by that?"

After all, isn't furlough supposed to be a time of rest?  Of spending time with people? Of root beer and pizza and hamburgers?  Well, yeah, it is, particularly the last bit. But that doesn't mean it's all fun and fluffy.

Please understand, this is not a complaint.  We are enjoying this time!  It just happens to be (like SO many things in the missionary life) a love-hate relationship.  I hope that this woefully inadequate explanation helps you understand us and your other missionary friends, and to know better how to pray for us.

The best way I can think of to describe "crazy" is this:  you know the way you feel at the end of vacation? No matter how good it was, or how much fun, there is that point near the end when the worn out, stressed, I-just-can't-wait-to-be-home feeling hits you.

We have had that feeling non-stop for about 7 months, now.  Here are some reasons why:

1.  Not a vacation

I know, I know.  I am apparently bumming around for 8 months without a job.  I travel, I meet people for coffee, I hang out.  If you look at my Facebook feed or previous blog posts, it appears that most of my time is spent taking photos of Montana scenery and doing fun things with my kids.  What do I have to complain about, really?

Gratuitous photo of aforementioned Montana scenery (Bridger Mountains, Bozeman)

I admit, I have spent a lot of time doing fun things with my kids.  We have gone fishing, investigated ghost towns, carved pumpkins, walked in the park, visited the library, gone sledding, and wandered aimlessly through the mountains, to name just a few.  The reason that we have done these things (and made a big deal of them!) is that they are not things that we can do in Bolivia.

Even so, we are still at work.

Kaylee carries her responsibilities wherever we go. Naturally, she has all of the same household duties here as in Bolivia.  She continues to homeschool the kids, in spite of the constant upheaval and weird schedules. Her social/hospitality role also remains largely unchanged.

My work, on the other hand, has changed drastically.  Instead of doing ministry at Etnos, I now get to talk about ministry at Etnos.  The majority of the travel that we have done in the past 7 months has been work related -- conferences, meetings, and presentations.  When not travelling, I am preparing for those events and working to get my materials ready for this year's classes at Etnos.  Even much of our social time ends up revolving around our life in Bolivia, as curious friends ask questions.

2. Missionary Marketing

Marketing: that is a missionary's basic job while on furlough.

It sounds rather pathetic, but when you boil it all down, the presentations and meetings that I just described pretty much amount to good advertising.  At least, that is often how we feel.

For better or for worse, the economic model under which we work requires us to seek out people who are willing to invest in our ministry.  We appreciate the personal nature it gives to our financial support, but we hate the self-promotion that is necessary (or expected) to sustain it.  We get tired of talking about ourselves. We feel self-conscious introducing ourselves to people, afraid they will think we're just after a donation.  Even with family and old friends who support us, we sometimes feel as though the $$$ were hanging over our heads.

Missionary Marketing 101

We want our supporters to be well-informed and engaged in what we are doing!  We want them to be able to see a return on their investment!  That requires a lot of writing while on the field (newsletters, blog, etc) and a lot of visits when on furlough. Usually, this is a joyful process of reporting "home," but we get tired of feeling like a couple of narcissists.

2.  Travel Fatigue

I used to enjoy travelling.  I still do, sometimes.  It can be a nice break when it is occasional -- as in, once or twice a year.

On the other hand, we have basically been "on a trip" for six months and counting. Within this trip, we have taken other trips.  In other words, we feel completely unstable, without the comforting structure of a routine.

Add to that the actual stresses of travel.  Long hours in the car.  Another drive thru. How much is this going to cost?  Unpack the car, carry it all up the stairs, sleep, pack up, haul down, leave.  So. Many. Times.

If it were just Kaylee and I, it would be a lot more manageable, but we have three daughters in the backseat.  Three little girls that are completely worn out and don't (and don't care to) understand why we're still on the road and just want to be home.

3.  Home?

Think about the last time you moved.  Was it an enjoyable experience?  Will it remain in your memory as something to cherish and memorialize?  I doubt it.

In our 11 few years of marriage, Kaylee and I have moved 23 times, counting only places we have lived for a month or longer.  An average of more than 2 per year.

TWENTY-THREE!!

Just by going on furlough, we move twice, and internationally to boot.  We pack up and store our Bolivia house, haul a little bit of it with us as we travel, and arrive in a Montana house. We unpack what we have in our storage shed, purchase or borrow whatever is lacking, and live a few months.  Then pack it all up again, haul some of it with us, and go back to unpack the first house.

Moving is one of the most traumatic experiences in a child's life.  We have taught our girls that wherever the 5 of us are, that is home.  That is the best earthly stability we can give them.  Yes, this instability carries the benefit of grounding our hope in an eternal home with Jesus, but that is tough enough for me to hold on to and almost impossible to pass on to my kids.

4.  Hurray for Friends!

Without a doubt, the best part of furlough is being with family and friends. We have been blessed by many opportunities to spend time with people we love.  It is so good to be able to sit with old friends (and new ones) and comment about life without thinking about which grammar structure is best suited to express it. Or wondering how to respond culturally.

We need the encouragement that these relationships provide.  Strange as it may seem, life on the mission field is often very lonely.  We are surrounded by people, yet good relationships that offer a deep give-and-take intimacy are very hard to come by.  So we want to spend as much time as possible with the people we love here.

Unfortunately, this, too, carries its share of stresses and craziness.  We know that we have limited time, so we tend to over-book our social calendar.  We want to spend as much time with people as we can in the time we have, but it seems like there is never enough.  More than once we have had to clear our calendar for the week, simply because our girls were worn out (not to mention Kaylee and I!).

Catching minnows with cousins

5. Protecting our kids

You may have noticed in the previous four points that "The Girls" have been a significant factor in making this furlough crazy.  To be honest, the hardest thing for me has been trying to gauge the needs of my children.  Too many late nights, too many hours in the car, too many new experiences, hellos, goodbyes, etc.

We are eager to show our daughters all of the things we love about life here: partly because it is important to us and partly because they are not Americans, but (to coin a word) AmeroBolivians.  Before this trip, they knew very little about life in the United States, yet this will most likely be their home once they leave ours, at least for a time.  We want them to be prepared for what they are going to experience, and furlough is the only opportunity we get.

But they have limits.  They are still little people that crave stability, sleep, and sanity, none of which are gained by hanging out with people 4+ nights a week or travelling cross-country.  They are tired of transitions and changes.  They are ready to go back to Bolivia.

In fact, I think we are all ready to go back.  We love Montana.  We love so many people here.  We love the freedom we feel.  We love the weather, the mountains, the trees!  This time has been such a blessing to us, in spite of the craziness.  We will be sad to leave, yet we are ready to get back to Etnos, if only for the stability and routine that returning will bring for our family.  And that's a good thing.

Wanderings

The furlough craziness continues!  At each turn we anticipate slowing down and finding rest, but it just doesn't seem to come.  We have talked about why we feel that way, because we aren't actually that busy and we've come to the conclusion that it has more to do with lack of routine.

We recently returned from a 3-week, 3410-mile journey through 7 states.  It was part business trip, part homeschool education trip, and all adventure.  God blessed us with good weather and no car trouble!

Our first big commitment was a debriefing that our home church sent us to in Colorado.  We drove to Denver a couple days early, where we spent a day with Kaylee's brothers, then visited Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs.

The debriefing was 5 days at a mountain retreat center and run by an organization called Mission Training International.  It was a great location, very peaceful.  Just the sort of place that a bunch of frazzled missionaries need! ;)

We spent our time with missionaries from all different organizations, different countries, different ministries, different denominations.  The one thing that tied us all together was the fellowship of being cross-cultural ministers. 

The program is a carefully designed combination of structured sessions and free time.  Subjects that we covered included: transition, stress, sacrifice, and the need for rest, rest, rest.  We shared our experiences and hurts and joys and struggles.  The kids were in their own classes, talking about the same issues, in an age-appropriate way.  

Kaylee and I instigated a couple of bonfire nights that were a great opportunity
to tell stories and get to know each other better

We came away from the week with a new desire to not only survive our ministry, but be a blessing to others so that they will survive theirs.

Following the debriefing, we took a couple days to travel across Kansas to Missouri, stopping at two of Laura Ingalls Wilder's houses along the way.  Kaylee and the girls have been using her books as literature/history/home-ec class as they homeschool and it was a fun way to bring her story to life.

Cabin reproduction on the Little House on the Prairie homestead
in Independence, Kansas

The house where Laura and Almanzo lived out their years
in Mansfield, Missouri

Our main purpose in going to Missouri was to return to the training center where we spent 2.5 years preparing to be cross-cultural missionaries and talk to the new students about the work in Bolivia.  

It was fun to show the girls around the area that was such a big part of our lives and where Anne and Addi were born.  Of course, we enjoyed the beautiful weather and the lake, too.

As we headed home, we took a slight detour to see Mt Rushmore!

Since returning, we have spent time with lots of people and I have had 2 more opportunities to talk about our ministry in Bolivia: at our Bible college and our home church.  We have also made the most of fall in Montana, our favorite season!

Old West Adventures

One of our major goals during our time in Montana is to help Anne, Addison, and Lydia "catch up" in their understanding of what life here is all about.  Part of that understanding is a familiarity with the history that makes this area special.

It helps that Kaylee and I share an interest in 19th century Americana, so it is natural and fun for us, too.  Of course, it also meshes perfectly with Kaylee's "Little House" homeschool plan, so they count as field trips!  Here's a quick look at some of the activities we have done as a family during the last few weeks:

We went to a county fair in Powell, WY, where their cousins were showing their 4-H pigs:

We spent a day wandering through Yellowstone National Park:

They enjoyed riding horseback at Grandma's house:

We explored Bannack, a ghost town that was the site of Montana's first gold rush and first territorial capital:

We toured Alder Gulch, home of the country's richest gold strike, which today has been preserved and recreated as an excellent outdoor living history museum:

 

Back in the States!

We are excited to be writing from Bozeman, Montana!

We arrived about 2 weeks ago and plan to be here for 8 months.  We hope that it will be a time of rest, adventure, and renewing relationships.

Rest
Although we still have ministry responsibilities while we are here, for Kaylee and I it is restful just to be back in our home language and culture.  We need spiritual refreshment that we don't (yet) get in Spanish.

Adventure
The girls were born in the US, but they have lived very little of their lives here.  Anne is really the only one that has solid memories of Montana.  For them, everything is new and crazy.  During our 8 months, we hope to explore and enjoy some of the activities that we can't do in Bolivia (particularly in the winter!).

Renewed Relationships
Of course, the hardest part of living overseas is being so far away from family and friends.  We are excited to see many of you in person, rather than just on the phone or computer.  We have already been overwhelmingly blessed by friends here in Bozeman and look forward to spending much more time with them and many others.

We're off to a good start!  Our first big event was Independence Day, complete with a parade, picnic, and fireworks!  The girls have spent LOTS of time with their cousins in my family.  We've been fishing several times.  Kaylee spent the last 4 days at a retreat for missionary women in Colorado with my sister and sister-in-law.  I have been busy getting us settled in.

Friends met us at the airport!

Learning about Independence Day of their birth country

Fishing adventure in the mountains, while mommy was gone

Addi's first fish of the year (in the rain!)

After 4 days, we were all VERY excited to see Kaylee again!

Our wheels, a '94 Toyota Land Cruiser

Four Weeks, Four Places

During our four weeks back in the US, we've spent time in Denver, Billings, Bozeman, and Cody.  Now we're heading over to Dillon to see Kaylee's mom.  We're having fun, but it's CRAZY! :)

As promised in my last post, I have uploaded some photos of our time.  Click here or on the slideshow to see them:

Two weeks down. . .

As of tonight, we've been in the US for two weeks!  At times it seems so long and at others so short, but 1/6 of our time has passed and it has been a whirlwind.  We've spent time with lots of family in 3 different cities and seen lots of friends at church. This week, we're in Bozeman doing VBS at our home church.

Please continue to pray for our girls as the strain of continuous activity and (especially) meeting new people is taking its toll.  Addi, the most introverted of the 3, stayed home from VBS this morning with Kaylee, which was good for both of them.  Lydia went again today and says she enjoys it, but is unusually clingy and gets pretty nervous if I'm not right next to her.  Anne is handling it the best and is genuinely enjoying VBS, but the strain is coming out in other areas, especially in her pride and unwillingness to take correction (she gets that from me).

Kaylee and I are soaking it up.  Although it is difficult for us at times too, it is SO wonderful to be spending time in a place we know so well, with good friends, speaking English!  Kaylee had a very productive day yesterday buying homeschool material, getting a routine medical checkup, making phone calls, and shopping.  I've been enjoying the food and had a great time shooting through a case of clay pigeons (click for video)with my dad, brother-in-law, and nephews while camping on Friday.

I'll try to get some photos up here soon, but for now you can see a couple on Kaylee's personal Missionary Wife blog.

Change, Disruption, and General Craziness

Our life is never dull, that's a fact.  Here's what's going on around our house:

No more classes! Kaylee finished her formal Spanish study at the end of April, officially closing the latest chapter in our long road to tribal ministry!  Anne finished her year of Kindergarten the following day.  Kaylee has a few words and photos at her personal blog: Life of a Missionary Wife.

Packing!  For the last two weeks, we have been slowly sorting and packing our things to get ready to store them for our trip to the US in June.  We're still sorting out the details of how that's all going to work out, but it is coming together.  In the meantime, our house is a shambles:

Planning!  We have a full itinerary for our summer in Bozeman and are trying to work out the details of our move to Urubichá when we return.  It is coming along slowly, mostly due to the wide variety of options and opinions that we have to work with!  Please pray that God would give us wisdom as we inch forward.

I had the opportunity to give a presentation at our church here about our plans a couple weeks ago:

Civil Unrest!  Please pray for Bolivia right now as the government and workers' unions are having difficulty resolving an issue regarding salary and retirement pensions.  There have been blockades on and off over the last few weeks (including one where miners blew up a bridge west of here), but this week they have started blocking non-stop and things continue to escalate.  Please pray for safety for those involved and that the situation would be resolved peacefully.  If it does not resolve soon, it may affect our travel plans.

This is a local news photo of one of the blockades between us and the city.  Blockading at night is very uncommon, a sure sign of escalation.

Click here for English news article with photo